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Is this how God feels?

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As my wife and I were taking a walk through the neighborhood this morning, I felt like asking her a question. It was one of those questions that I’m pretty sure most men would steer clear of, but I felt strongly about asking it.

The question?

“Do you know that I love you?”

Now, you may be saying to yourself ‘man, I wouldn’t ever go there’. Or perhaps you’re thinking of a response more like ‘are you crazy’?

You have to understand that a day doesn’t go by that we don’t tell each other that we love one another multiple times. So when I asked her the question “do you know that I love you?” I was already certain of her answer.

Except that she didn’t give me the answer I was anticipating. Her answer was short and to the point: sometimes.

SOMETIMES? WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS SOMETIMES?

Like any loving husband whose mind is now instantly filled with all kinds of wild (and insecure) thoughts, for a moment I didn’t know what to think or how to respond to her answer.

After mumbling something or other about how she must be kidding me, she began to explain her answer. Fortunately for me, she did in fact assure me that she knew that I loved her.

But…..

There’s always a but, isn’t there?

After telling me that yes, she did in fact know that I loved her; she went on to say that there are times when it doesn’t seem like I do.

By now all of my senses are on high alert, shields are up, and I’m steadying myself for “The Talk”. You know the talk I’m referring to, don’t you? If not, just ask any husband!

I guess I should explain something here before I proceed. You see, my wife is the kindest, sweetest, and most gentle person I’ve ever known. For all of that, she is also as honest as the day is long. She can be brutally honest, but with a dash of mercy included, if that makes any sense.

Oh, and lest anyone should mistake her gentleness for weakness, you would be making a huge mistake in doing so!!

So she proceeded to explain why she said the word sometimes, and I felt both my jaw and my heart drop. It seems that she used the word sometimes because of my propensity to withdraw into myself.

By my withdrawing into my own little world, she saw it as me withdrawing from her. Now of course, that was never my intention, but I can clearly see why she would think it was.

Lesson learned, and I have something (else) to work on.

This life lesson has caused me to think about our relationship with our Heavenly Father. I wonder if our actions send Him mixed messages as well.

Is this how God feels, that He’s unsure of how we truly feel about Him?

We go to church to worship Him. Or do we? Are we giving Him our all, our undivided attention? Or are we absentmindedly going through the motions while all along our thoughts are a million miles away?

If we aren’t careful our worship becomes stagnant. It becomes nothing more than rote. It becomes a mechanical routine, void of any spontaneity or enthusiasm. It becomes like the old joke where the man tells his wife “I told you I loved you when I married you, isn’t that enough?”

Well, no, it isn’t enough. Any more than it’s enough to let our Savior know that we love him only at Easter and Christmas.

Love is a verb. It requires action and effort on our part. If it isn’t displayed on the outside, it’s not happening on the inside either.

Hey, that’s good stuff right there!

If we withdraw from Him, how is He to know how we feel about Him? Some will say of course that ‘God knows everything and that includes how I feel about Him, so why do I need to do anything else’?

Ask yourself, is that good enough for your wife or husband? Don’t all of us like to hear those words “I Love You”, and to see them backed up by unselfish actions?

I don’t think our Heavenly Father is all that different from us in that regard. After all, we are made in His image.

Something to think about, isn’t it?

Be blessed everyone!

Ron

 

 

 

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Missing: Spiritual Leadership in the Home

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In these chaotic days in which we now live,the absence of leadership,particularly Godly leadership,is most definitely contributing to the moral demise of our homes, communities,and ultimately our society.

It is a natural human tendency to look for leadership, as we’re taught from our youth that there is a hierarchy,or leadership structure in our homes, schools, and government that we are to follow.   Leadership

When people lack leadership at any level, they tend to look elsewhere. For the Christian, we look to the Church, or more specifically to our Pastors and leaders in the local church.

Unfortunately, even that is no longer a given, as evidence by the plethora of wannabe leaders looking to make Church a “career”, rather than a lifetime commitment to servant hood.

So what’s a person or family to do who cannot find sound,Godly leadership? If you are a Christian, you look inward,to those in your own home. In other words…sometimes you have to step up and assume the leadership role of your family.

After all, that’s what God called you to do! Yes…you are called to be the servant leader of your home!

The Bible has established a very clear leadership path for our homes and families, which is that the husband is to be the spiritual head of the family. The Apostle Paul gave perhaps the most in-depth explanation of this in his epistle to the Ephesian church.

Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, …   Eph. 5: 21-33   ESV

Please note, I am fully aware that many will bristle at the word “submit”. Taken out of context, the word “submit” is a demeaning,humiliating term of subservient obedience. That is NOT however what the Apostle Paul is meaning when he used the word “submit”.

The term “submit” was used to describe relationships peculiar to Christian believers. By digging into the scriptures, we find that the true sense of the word describes the Christian grace of voluntarily yielding one’s preferences to another.

In other words, to “submit” in the Christian sense has nothing whatsoever to do with domination,or forcing one’s will upon another. NOTHING! And for you husbands that think this verse gives you a license to lord over your wives like some kind of ogre, think again. You are supposed to love your wife as much as Christ loved the church, even to the point of giving your own life for her!

love your wives

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Of course, even the Biblical example of spiritual leadership in the home can present it’s own share of unique problems today. For example,the family structure in America is undergoing a radical shift away from the two parent household. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2016 there were nearly 12 million single parent households, with a staggering 80% of those headed up by single mothers.

Additionally, 1 in 4 children under the age of 18 — a total of about 17.2 million — are being raised without a father! So much for men assuming the traditional spiritual leadership role of the home. How can they, when they aren’t even there?   source: https://singlemotherguide.com/single-mother-statistics/

Is it any wonder then that our children’s lives are being wrecked by gangs, drugs, violence and despair? There is no Biblical family structure in so many of these situations, and lacking that many of our children are left to fend for themselves, often becoming easy prey to the streets.

Single mothers are attempting to provide the family structure,income, and spiritual leadership that God intended for BOTH the husband and the wife to provide. This is a HUGE problem! This is NOT what the Lord intended for our families, that they be ripped apart in front of our eyes.   women-in-christian-leadership.jpg

So who’s going to provide this much needed spiritual leadership given that the home is under such an attack? One thing is for certain, and that is that if families are to survive the spiritual onslaught they are being subjected to, and it is indeed a spiritual attack, God has to become the focal point of the home!

Whether the home consists of a husband and wife or a single parent, someone must step up and assume the role of spiritual leader. There can be no other solution. There MUST be a spiritual head in our homes.

There must be that “go to person” that prays for their family. There has to be a clearly defined spiritual leader that can offer Biblical guidance and wisdom to their children. And lest I be misunderstood, whoever is the spiritual head of the home must seek advice,counsel, and wisdom from each member of the family.

This cannot be a one man or one woman show! Spiritual leadership in the home that fails to seek input from others is not true leadership, it is equivalent to being a taskmaster ordering their subjects to obey his or her commands.

OK, you’ve read this very lengthy post. Now what do I do? Here are three simple ways to provide spiritual leadership for your family:

  1. Learn to pray for your family! Every day, the spiritual leader of the home should be taking their families to the throne of God. Ask God to cover your family with His divine protection.
  2. Pray for wisdom. Just as King Solomon prayed and asked the Lord to give him wisdom to rule the people of Israel, so should we be asking the Lord for such wisdom. Parents, especially new parents don’t always know what is best for their families. After all, it’s not like or children come with an instruction manual!
  3. Lead by example! Be the man or woman of God that you have been called to be. Be strong and courageous in the Lord. As David encouraged himself in the Lord, we too should look to Him as our source of encouragement.
Dear Lord

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My prayer is that we will assume our rightful position as spiritual leaders in our homes, whether male or female.

It is our only chance to take back what the enemy has stolen from us. Indeed, it is our only hope for a future!

Be blessed!

Ron